TweePopACap asked: First off, let me make it clear that I am NOT planning on having a child right away (it will probably be at least five more years before I start trying); this question is solely out of curiosity! That said, let me explain my situation a bit. Here’s what you need to know:
I am 20 years old. My boyfriend is 23 (closer to 24) years old.
He and I have been in a wonderful, steady relationship for two years. We get along well, and very, very rarely argue. We’re very compatible, and absolutely in love.
We plan to get married soon after graduating from college.
We live together in an apartment with our kitty. We’ve lived together for about nine months, and we love it.
We both attend school full time at the University of Washington.
I am an Early Childhood and Family Studies major, and a philosophy minor. I also have a background in psychology.
I plan to work as a professional nanny until I have my own child, at which point I would like to be a stay-at-home mom if money allows. This will likely be a feasible option, as the career my boyfriend is planning on getting into pays roughly $75,000 to $100,000 a year.
I have worked as a nanny for over three years, for children of ALL ages (from birth to thirteen), and I love every age range. This has given me lots of experience taking care of children (yes, including diaper changes and tantrums) and I love every minute of it. I’m very good with kids.
I also read up about childcare and child development CONSTANTLY. I’m even subscribed to several parenting magazines. I know all about childcare, health and safety, the best baby products, milestones (and how to help a baby reach them), styles of parenting (I most closely identify with attachment parenting), birth, breastfeeding, emotional development - the list goes on and on and on.
We both really want one child. We have baby names picked out, we know exactly what we want the nursery to look like, we know which baby products we want, we know which values we want to pass on to our child, etc., etc., etc. We even have ideas for traditions we want to pass on or start as a family.
My boyfriend and I are NOT really into “partying.” We’re not the typical college students who like to drink and go clubbing - we’re not into doing the things people typically mean when they say “take this time to be young.” We like hanging out at home and just being together, and we enjoy dreaming of and planning our future. We’re extremely responsible, financially and otherwise (we’ve never been late on a single bill, if we use credit cards we pay them COMPLETELY off at the end of every month, we save money for the future, etc.). We’re intelligent and educated. We’re laid-back, low-key, and stable. And we have a lot of love to give!
I want a baby more than anything in the world - I wake up thinking about it most days. I can’t wait to be a mom and I love my future baby already. But I know that part of loving my baby is giving it the best life possible - which, for me, means waiting a few years until we’re both done with school, we’re married, we have a 2+ bedroom house, we have more money to spend, etc.
HOWEVER, I think about being a mom all the time, and I always wonder what it would be like in my current situation. This has left me extremely curious as to what people would think if I had a child. This is where you come in! Please answer the following questions:
1) If you DID know my situation (if you just skipped down to this question, please read what I wrote above to learn more about my situation), what would you think of my boyfriend and I having a baby? Would you think we were too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
2) If you did NOT know my situation, what would you think? (Imagine you just saw a two people, who appeared to be about 20 and 23/24, with a baby. You knew nothing else about them.) Too young? Too inexperienced? Too irresponsible?
3) How long do you think we should wait to have a baby? What would you do if you were in our situation?
4) Do you think we will make good parents when the time comes?
5) Any other comments you’d like to make? I’d love to hear what you think!
I know this was a very long question, so thank you for bearing with me. I’m dying to know what people think. Please do answer! I’d really appreciate it. :] Thanks!
There are a few things I’d like to clarify, since people have been mentioning them:
1) I DO plan to wait until we’re both finished with school.
2) I DO plan to wait until we’re married. And, yes, we DO plan to get married.
3) I HAVE talked about it with my boyfriend, and we ARE on the same page about everything.
4) I know about the litter box thing, and my boyfriend would do the scooping when I got pregnant. (Actually, by the time I get pregnant, I hope to have my cat using the toilet - we almost had him trained already!) My cat is a purebred, healthy indoor cat with no diseases or health issues, so hopefully that wouldn’t be an issue.
5) Believe me, I do NOT only want the child when he or she is a baby! The only reason I kept using the term “baby” is because I was referring to a time relatively soon after birth (i.e. when I have the child, or when you hypothetically see a young couple with a newborn). I’m very excited for all ages and stages! I can’t wait to see my child grow up.
PIERRE
